Saturday, March 31, 2007

Cafe Rio is to Mexican Food as...

Finally someone is giving Taco Bell a run for they're money! I wasn't to worried when I thought it was just a food fetish, but then I found this CD under the bed, covered in salsa and sour cream. There is nothing special about Cafe Rio's food, or music. Its made by white teenagers in a controlled environment that's cleaner than my bathroom, whats authentic about that? If you want authentic try this. Sean Johnson, his brother-in-law Kyle and I went to Tijuana, Mexico and ate authentic Mexican food. It was prepared on a street corner near Revolution Blvd. While we were eating our 3 for $1.00 tacos (Pollo, Carne Asada or Carnitas- meat not guaranteed to be authentic) the Tijuana Police rolled up, grabbed some guy off the street, smacked him around, tossed him in a truck and drove off! Kyle had been home from his mission for like 72 hours and was still a little wet behind the ears and I may or may not have been the best choice to break him back into the real world. We took him to the Church of the Blessed Whore (Catholic Church next to Brothels and Strip Clubs) He did make a very valuable purchase, he brought $40 to Mexico and spent it all on...fake Oakleys, but to be fair he did do it within the first half hour we were in Mexico so he did shop around. To the left is a picture of Sean Johnson after we picked him up from the "watering hole" he wanted to visit. My point is this, Cafe Rio is bland tasteless American food, anyone who goes through the trouble of driving more than the length of the driveway to find it needs to have their head examined. For real authentic Mexican food you need to go to Wahoos Fish Tacos, the best there is, I will not debate this. If you think anything else is better, well you sir are an idiot.














As Jennifer noted we did have a brief return of our winter weather, she was thrilled to bring out her sexy long johns again. Unfortunately they were still a smidge rank from the months of overuse this winter, although they were easy to find as they were standing in the corner of the room. As of today the valley is free of snow and Spring has re-sprung with a new Springiness which was previously un-sprung because of its Spingcociousness.
We did also have an opportunity to watch Nixon, Master of all he surveys, play the precocious Finn O'Grady, a bit under his ability but interesting all the same. I attended the matinee and was overcome with anticipation, this photo was
taken of me prior to the third act. The only thing worse than watching your kid in a 4th grade production of "Billy, Blowey and Bumpersnick" or something like that, is watching other peoples kids in it. Nixon had fun, someone told me that was the point, so it was worth it? Perhaps its out of his system now, he tried out with a friend, wanted a small part. His friend quit and he ended up in the lead, lucky us.
Now I prepare for our trip to Lake Powell! I have not taken a legitimate vacation in over 10 years. Every trip we take has some alternate purpose, baptism, weddings, blessings, graduations, etc. I have now responsibility in Lake Powell other than to not drown myself or anyone else and bar-b-que some beef, the beef I am qualified for. I also intend to work on my elusive tan. I will not go through another summer of people saying "hey there are two white strings hanging from your shorts...oh wait its your legs" The picture you see at the bottom is the "before" photo, wait till you see what a few days in the sun do for me. I am sure upon my return I will have quite a few situations which will call for my swift and poignant rebuttal, until then men, stay alert and lock up the frying pans!

2 comments:

GeoWulf said...

I am a Huge fan of fish tacos! I am pretty sure the only good fish tacos in Arizona are at Rubios. (I think I would like to try the restaurant you mentioned however!)

Anonymous said...

I would just like to second Sir Geoffrey's comments on the state of Mexican food in Utah. Nothing like Utards preparing the highest difficult culinary delight known as cheese and beans. My wife feels the Mayan in Sandy is the Mecca of rentable food. Geoffrey's trip with me (spelled Shawn you jackass) and Kyle was a memory I'll cherish more than the donkey ride across from Our Lady of the Whore. Geoffrey, by the way, out-Mexicaned about a half dozen vendors in acquiring 12-15 lbs of bling-bling during the course of the day--for about $10. Then, upon our return trip across the border, manned up and went through the metal detector with all his "blingy-blingy" portruding from his white, hairless chest. The climax of the trip was that it didn't set the alarms off. Kyle is still seeing his Bishop after 8 hours with Geoffrey but smiles every time he recalls the experience. I'm still waiting for his royal highness to call me and set up the return trip. Until then I suggest you do what I do...eat at fake Mexican joints, tell your wife it's as wonderful and she thinks it is, and recall the days of eating 3 for $1 tacos and washing it down with 'coco-rico' soda and waiting for the lunch rental to expire and force a mad dash to a dirty Mexican bano...now that's Rubios, Cafe Rio, and Taco Bell all rolled into one. Be sure to tan more than just the arms and legs 'cause I've seen brutal glares from the rest of you. Love you.